So one source of influence on Will
I'm reminded of the importance of narrative again in my example of the patient who would be running marathons and planting her garden if will power could cause the change.
Patient's outlook on recovery and the role rehab plays rehab is sometimes based on their own previous experiences with rehab. Did they have positive interactions with therapists? Did they have positive outcomes? These memories influence how they view rehab now.
Patient's expectations of recovery are sometimes based on a story of a brother in law, or aunt, or mother who also experienced a stroke and had fantastic recovery, or worse an awful recovery.
I see first hand how much patient's cling to these stories and seek out these stories. I'm often asked "Have you seen someone like me? What happened with him or her?" Patient's want narratives and regardless of their accuracy or pertinence to their current situation and place in life, use them to make sense of their recovery.
As I saw this concept unfold in a more "relatable" way I was challenged to recall same of some of the narratives that shape me and my belief system...
> Education is important.... My mom has told this story 1000 times, it wasn't until middle school that I got in the car and said to my mom "Mom, did you know that you don't HAVE to go to college". Clearly, I was preached that college naturally followed high school and that education is important.
> Church... my family went to Church Wednesday and Sunday. I was involved in youth group, youth choir. I watched my parents faithfully tithe each month. I understood that Church was important. What I didn't see was that a Faith and life in Christ was crucial, because when we got home from Church my narratives include tension between my parents, grumbling over having to go back to church volunteer at this event, and tremendous sadness/bitterness towards my mom's alcoholic father.
However, 6 years ago the settings of my stories change. Mom got involved with community of women and started going to Bible study. She started spending time in solitude and prayer and reading the Word. Her relationship with Dad changed, she forgave her Dad, her attitude towards her volunteer work changed, she relaxed. That story shaped my idea of how Christ can work in lives.
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| (There is a picture of us cousins like this every Christmas) |
> Family...Even after moving to Virginia it was a priority for my family to trek to Georgia every Christmas, every Summer, and every Thanksgiving to gather with our family. To make new stories and recall the old.
There are the family narratives of hurt and disappointment...
But there are also the ones of joy, love and commitment...
> Marriage... lately one narrative that's been weighing heavy on my heart is my picture of marriage. The narrative of marriage I had was a stay-at-home mom, one that didn't work. I was her work, our home was her work. And she did a fabulous job at her work. Our house was well kept and dinner was always on the table, and she looked flawless at the end of the day. This was my expectation of myself because of the story in my mind... When we first got married I was running myself ragged trying to keep up with my super woman Mom. t was not fair to compare her story with my story because I was working full time...
The list is really endless. I know it is. By looking at it first through a focal lens (my analogy) to see how important narratives really are, I can then zoom out and see how all my stories impact me.
James Bryan Smith states that to really change we first have to change our minds and replace our narratives with Jesus' narratives.
"Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus" Philippians 2:5b
What narratives are shaping you, fairly or unjustly?
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